Chef Grey Poupon

Grill Master General: The Perfect Match

January 24, 2008 – 9:36 am

I was recently told that the average household has 4-6 bottles of salad dressing, with most being purchased by women. As a guy, I have two: a bottle of Italian for myself, and a bottle of ranch in case some kid comes over and needs to dip carrot in order to make the vegetable palatable.

As a guy, my interest and culinary sophistication is derived from nature.  And by nature, I don’t mean from organic foods or vegetables. I mean meat. Meat that I can cook on my excessively oversized stainless steel grill, or pile so high on a sandwich that even Dagwood Bumstead would be envious. My grilling acumen has even led me to receive the un-official moniker (mostly self claimed) of “Grill Master General”.

To facilitate my meat consumption, I have a full array of supporting condiments: Ketchup (only Heinz will do, but never, ever on a hot dog), 2 steak sauces (A1 regular and A1 with cracked peppercorn), 4 bottles of BBQ (depending on the flavor profile I’m in the mood for and the type of meat cooked) and 12 mustards. I have been accused of stocking condiments with the same stereotypical guy excess that always drove Tim “the tool man” Taylor to crave “more power”. This however would be an unfair characterization.

Granted, 12 mustards may seem a little excessive, and to be completely honest, 3 haven’t been used in years, have probably passed expiration, and would result in serious health issues, possibly death, if consumed. Still, I refuse to throw them away on the outside chance that at some point in time I would need them to satisfy the “perfect mustard match”, potential health consequences not withstanding. A couple more of the mustards were given to me as gifts from friends and family who purchased them on vacation from quaint little shops as they traveled to places like Door County or Martha’s Vineyard. While these mustards offer a tasty and unique flavor, they are to be considered (ironically) more of mustard “taste vacation”, as opposed to being serious mustard.  Jams & Jellies come from places like that, mustard doesn’t!

Alright, so culling the mustard herd a little leaves us with a six pack of solid day to day mustards. The day to day mustard population is just like a good starting pitching rotation in baseball; a handful of individuals, each has its place in the line up and brings different talents to the table, ready to be called on when needed. To start, we need solid yellow mustard, standard fair for hot dogs and burgers. My preference is Plochman’s because I like the simulated barrel squeeze container that makes me feel “old school”. For the rest of my day to day mustard needs, I turn to Grey Poupon.

I like Grey Poupon for its unique flavor profiles and consistent great taste. It also makes me feel more sophisticated, as I always adopt a snooty accent as I pronounce its name. It also brings back amusing memories of youth, when my friends and I would roll down the car window every time we saw a Rolls Royce, get the drivers attention and ask “Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?” Then drive away giggling to ourselves like schoolgirls, as if that was the first time someone had ever done that. Truth is, it never got old. I still do it today and have gotten my kids to do it as well.

The “GP” family has a great offering:
•    The Dijon is a good all around recipe mustard.
•    The new Course Ground has great flavor and texture profile, great in recipes or as an ingredient in other sauce combinations. Its course texture helps it cling to food as opposed to running off, delivering flavor in every bite. It’s also great for dipping pretzels. While I would like to enjoy its flavor on sandwiches when I want a sharper taste, its texture makes getting an evenly applied layer on bread a little difficult.
•    The new Spicy Brown is a flavorful but milder mustard, a perfect combination for mild salty meats like ham. Great for those times when you want a quality mustard taste, but need to keep it mild.
•    The Country Dijon is a great alternative to the Course Ground for sandwich use, particularly on pastrami or coned beef sandwiches. It spreads evenly and offers a sharper taste to tackle those stronger flavored meats. It also adds a kick to ham when you want to spice things up a bit.
•    The Deli has a little horseradish in it, and it’s great with roast beef. While it’s good on cold roast beef, it’s even better on hot roast beef when the heat from the meat melts it a little, giving it a “sauce” quality that soaks in.

The great thing about mustards is that there really is no right or wrong.  But, you can definitely find some specific food and mustard combinations that are great pairings and provide a very unique taste experience.

Enjoy!